Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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