I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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