Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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