when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
