There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
