You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just pee around me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
