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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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