if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
