it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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