Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
