the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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