i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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