It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
