You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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