Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
