oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
soo... how was my night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
