I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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