Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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