We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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