my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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