He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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