She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
