Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Are we still banned from the library?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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