i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, he came in my armpit
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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