Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
