Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
