Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
