so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
