we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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