She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
