Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
