oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
