Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
