She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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