Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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