stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
