I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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