I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
