I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We got so high we made milksteak
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
