Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
