My pussy is not your playground.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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