so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
