it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
