I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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