Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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