I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I smell like Dick and happiness
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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