More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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