so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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