this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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