Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
