drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got inside last night via doggy door
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
