i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
