It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
